Thursday, July 21, 2011
Stepping Out on Faith through Blogs
8:50 PM | 
Posted by
Ewanda
If you are like me you did not grow up using computers. So I have come into the world of the internet kicking and screaming. But Ahhhh! I am finally getting to a point where I want to learn more about computer technology and the internet. So it just so happens that I am stepping out on faith with my own business/ministry that will assist individuals, groups and/or organizations with information and resource sharing, accessing the media, conference/program planning and public relations.
I am blessed to have almost 30 years experience of working with people living with HIV. Because of this experience I have learned so much about homelessness, mental health, substance abuse, physical and sexual trauma and domestic abuse. So I feel I need to create a space where these issues can be addressed from a biblical perpective. I want to know what other people think about how these issues should be addressed. With that being said please let me know what you think about a recent incident that took place in Philadelphia regarding road rage/domestic abuse http://cbs3.com/local/roosevelt.boulevard.northeast.2.772202.html Thank you Dorothy http://www.dorothygoins.com/ for sending me the link.
Since this is new to me I am still learning about the world of blogging. I hope to share with you news and/or events that may be of interest to you. And yes my travel experiences. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Before I end this post I need to thank two people. Gary Adams, Co-founder of The Coalition, Inc., http://www.thecoalitioninc.org/ who arranged the class which I call "Blogging 101" and JC Lamkin, http://www.gltmypc.com/ for sharing her exitement and expertise about blogging.
May the Lord continue to richly bless you all until next time!
I am blessed to have almost 30 years experience of working with people living with HIV. Because of this experience I have learned so much about homelessness, mental health, substance abuse, physical and sexual trauma and domestic abuse. So I feel I need to create a space where these issues can be addressed from a biblical perpective. I want to know what other people think about how these issues should be addressed. With that being said please let me know what you think about a recent incident that took place in Philadelphia regarding road rage/domestic abuse http://cbs3.com/local/roosevelt.boulevard.northeast.2.772202.html Thank you Dorothy http://www.dorothygoins.com/ for sending me the link.
Since this is new to me I am still learning about the world of blogging. I hope to share with you news and/or events that may be of interest to you. And yes my travel experiences. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Before I end this post I need to thank two people. Gary Adams, Co-founder of The Coalition, Inc., http://www.thecoalitioninc.org/ who arranged the class which I call "Blogging 101" and JC Lamkin, http://www.gltmypc.com/ for sharing her exitement and expertise about blogging.
May the Lord continue to richly bless you all until next time!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Ten Issues To Address If You Don't Want To Talk About HIV
Although HIV has been around for 30 years there are many of us who find it difficult to talk about the disease. A few of us still refuse to address the issue at all. I decided to make a list of issues that if discussed would reduce the infection rate without mentioning the words “HIV” or “AIDS”. Now you may find it difficult to address all of these issues but if you could address one it would really make a difference in the incidence of HIV.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
The word domestic means home, local and or familiar which is why this topic is sometimes so difficult to discuss. No one wants to admit that they are being abused by someone they love. The abuse can be physical, emotional, financial, sexual, racial and/or religious. Often the victim is made to feel that it is their fault that the abuse occurred and not just the abuser; friends, family and even the person’s faith leader can often make the victim feel like there is something that they did or didn’t do to cause the abuse. I can’t speak for all faiths but I need to say that many in the Christian faith stress a wife being submissive to her husband. The problem is that many people do not have a clear understanding of the word “submission” or what it means “to submit” including a lot of Christian leaders. Now I am not a bible scholar but I have not found any scripture that justifies a person abusing their spouse. In other words “submit does not equal hit.”
SEX, SEX, SEX
I know I did not have to use the word three times but if you think about it sex is being used in just about everything we experience. It’s not just the movies and music, its getting you to buy that car and/or washing machine to even what social groups you should join. The truth is that we have not done a great job of talking about sex. Talking about sex is not just saying “don’t have sex” or “keep your legs closed”; it’s discussing the physical and emotional aspects of sex. We have done a poor job of discussing abstinence. We tell young people to abstain from sex but once that person becomes an adult and decides to continue to abstain from sex we tell them that something is wrong with them. Of course we need to address the issue of sexual orientation which also includes a discussion on how to respectfully agree or disagree with a person’s sexual orientation.
SEXUAL ASSUALT/ MOLESTION
When a person is violated sexually it can be devastating. People often keep it a secret because of the shame they feel. Reporting a sexual assault can at times add to the person’s shame because of how the judicial system often treats them. When a child is molested or sexually assaulted they often not only feel shame and that some how deserved it but may have been threatened that if they tell they or a family member may be harmed. There is also the possibility that the victim of molestation has the potential of becoming a perpetrator. Many victims suffer in silence.
RAPE AS A FORM OF GENECIDE
Rape or sexual assault is not an act of sex it is an act of violence. But we don’t often associate rape with genocide. The legal definition of genocide is found in the United Nations Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide, Art. 2, written in 1948, which defines genocide as: “Any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such:
1. Killing members of the group
2. Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group
3. Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part
4. Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group
5. Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group
Rape as a war crime can be traced back in the Tokyo War Crime Trials. Rape specifically was identified as a crime of war for the first time in the Tokyo trials after World War II. In the Tokyo trials, commanders were held responsible for rapes committed by solders under their command.
Rape and sexual atrocity work as tools of genocide for many reasons:
Physical death
Submission and terror
Humiliation
Ethnic cleansing
Self hate
Community breakdown
Rape “dilutes” the race of the next generation
POLYGAMY/POLYAMORY/GROUP MARRIAGE
You may not know what either of these terms mean and why they should be discussed in relationship to HIV. Polygamy is a form of marriage where a person has more than one spouse. The show “Big Love” is about a man who has three wives. There are three forms of polygamy; 1) Polygyny where a man has more than one wife 2) Polyandry where a woman has more than one husband 3) Group marriage is a marriage that includes multiple husbands and wives.
Polyamory is the practice, desire and/or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the consent and knowledge of everyone involved.
You may be more familiar with the term bigamy which is the act and/or condition of any person marrying another person while still being legally married to another person. In most cases the first and the second spouse are not aware of each other.
Bigamy is illegal in most western countries but that does not mean that it is not practiced.
People may participate in these types of relationships due to spiritual, cultural and/or financial reasons. We have failed to recognize that these types of relationships exit more than we think.
ABORTION/INFANTICIDE
I know that abortion is a politically charged topic but with more people thinking that this is a viable option we have to discuss it. This topic should be addressed before a pregnancy occurs. There are many reasons why people choose abortion. People often feel that there are no alternatives.
Infanticide is the homicide of an infant. The act is committed most often because of the sex of the child. It also committed by a person who may be dealing with rage, substance abuse and/or mental health issues. Abortion and infanticide affect people emotionally long after the event takes place. It often has an effect on what types of relationships they choose to participate in.
FEMALE CIRCUMCISION/SEXUAL MUTALITION
This procedure involves the partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs "whether for cultural, religious or other non-therapeutic reason. The term is almost always used to describe traditional or religious procedures on a minor, which requires the parents' consent because of the age of the girl.
This procedure is usually done on girls aged four to eight but can take place at any age from infancy to adolescence. Most of the persons performing the procedure have no training relating to sterilization, anesthetics, proper use of medical instruments and what to do if complications arise. Shock from excessive bleeding can often lead to death. The failure to use sterilized medical instruments can lead to infections.
There are other serious long term health effects that can occur. This includes urinary and reproductive tract infections, caused by obstructed flow of urine and menstrual blood, various forms of scarring and infertility.
Sexual mutilation often takes place when there is civil war or conflict and the victim is also being sexually assaulted. If the victim is female her breast may be partially or completely removed. This is done so she can’t provide nourishment for her children. If the victim is male their testicles are either damaged or removed.
PROSTITUTION/SURVIVAL SEX
We often think that prostitution is just either the person standing on the corner on the seedy side of town or the high class person whose customers include politicians and/or celebrities. Let’s look at the definition of prostitution: The act of engaging in sexual intercourse or other sex acts in exchange for money or other goods/services. That covers a lot of things that we may not think that people would exchange for sex. Do you know that there many people who are exchanging sex for food, clothes, housing and/or employment. Most people who participate in prostitution or survival sex don’t stand on a street corner.
MENTAL ILLNESS
People who may need assistance with addressing mental illness/health issues often don’t because of the social stigma. The issue is that when it is not addressed it affects housing, medical, martial, family, legal and financial status. I don’t want to get into the causes, diagnosis and/or type of treatment because very person’s situation is different. I do believe that we should be strongly encouraging people to seek assistance. The bible has clear examples of people who struggled with mental illness. This means that not only is mental illness a medical/emotional issue it is also a spiritual issue.
ADDICTION
I know when we think about addiction able we often have an image of alcoholics and/or addicts on the street. But there are people who work every day and have an addiction to not just drugs or alcohol but also food, sex and or people. Addiction to pornography is more prevalent than what you might believe. In fact pornography is “the church’s crack/cocaine.” Because we don’t want to talk about sex in the church we definitely don’t want to address this type of addiction. There is often stigma that those who are addicted have to deal with and that often affects their decision to get help. Recovery from addiction is not easy and people often relapse. Relapse is a part of the recovery process.
HUMAN TRAFFICKING
Okay I know I said ten issues, but I want to add human trafficking which is inter related to some of the other issues. Human trafficking, is the illegal trade in human beings for the purposes of commercial sexual exploitation or forced labor, a modern-day form of slavery. Human trafficking is now the fastest growing criminal industry. Internally it is tied with the illegal arms trade as the second largest criminal activity following the drug trade. Human trafficking usually involves women and children.
Human trafficking is different from people smuggling. Smuggling occurs when a person voluntarily requests or hires an individual, known as a smuggler, to covertly transport them from one location to another. This usually involves transportation from one country to another, where they would be legally denied at the border. There is usually no deception involved in the (illegal) agreement. After the person arrives at their destination, the smuggled person is usually free to find their own way.
Human trafficking can take place in several different forms;
Bonded labor, or debt bondage, is probably the least known form of labor trafficking today, and yet it is the most widely used method of enslaving people. Victims become bonded laborers when their labor is demanded as a means of repayment for a loan or service in which its terms and conditions have not been defined or in which the value of the victims’ services as reasonably assessed is not applied toward the liquidation of the debt. The value of their work is greater than the original sum of money "borrowed”.
Forced labor is a situation in which victims are forced to work against their own will, under the threat of violence or some other form of punishment, their freedom is restricted and a degree of ownership is exerted. Men are at risk of being trafficked for unskilled work, which globally generates $31 billion according to the International Labor Organization Forms of forced labor can include domestic servitude; agricultural labor; sweatshop factory labor; janitorial, food service and other service industry labor; and begging.
Sex trafficking victims are generally found in dire circumstances and easily targeted by traffickers. Individuals, who are vulnerable to traffickers include homeless individuals, runaway teens, displaced homemakers, refugees, and drug addicts. While it may seem like trafficked people are the most vulnerable and powerless minorities in a region, victims are consistently exploited from any ethnic and social background.
Traffickers, also known as pimps or madams, exploit vulnerabilities and lack of opportunities, while offering promises of marriage, employment, education, and/or an overall better life. However, in the end, traffickers force the victims to become prostitutes or work in the sex industry. Various types of ‘jobs’ in the sex industry include prostitution, dancing in strip clubs, performing in pornographic film and other forms of involuntary servitude.
While human trafficking does not require travel or transport from one location to another, one form of sex trafficking involves international agents and brokers who arrange travel and job placements for women from one country to another. Women are lured to accompany traffickers based on promises of lucrative opportunities unachievable in their native country. However, once they reach their destination, the women discover that they have been deceived and learn the true nature of the work that they will be expected to do. Most have been deceived regarding the financial arrangements and conditions of their employment and find themselves in coercive or abusive situations from which escape is dangerous. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, there were 1,229 human trafficking incidents in the United States from January 2007- September 2008. Of these, 83 percent were sex trafficking cases.
Child labor is a form of work that is likely to be hazardous to the health and/or physical, mental, spiritual, moral or social development of children and can interfere with their education. The International Labor Organization estimates worldwide that there are 246 million exploited children aged between 5 and 17 involved in debt bondage, forced recruitment for armed conflict, prostitution, pornography, the illegal drug trade, the illegal arms trade and other illicit activities around the world.
I know that after reading this you may feel overwhelmed. Addressing these topics is necessary in the prevention of HIV. If we can prevent one person from becoming HIV positive by addressing these topics then this post has served its purpose.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
The word domestic means home, local and or familiar which is why this topic is sometimes so difficult to discuss. No one wants to admit that they are being abused by someone they love. The abuse can be physical, emotional, financial, sexual, racial and/or religious. Often the victim is made to feel that it is their fault that the abuse occurred and not just the abuser; friends, family and even the person’s faith leader can often make the victim feel like there is something that they did or didn’t do to cause the abuse. I can’t speak for all faiths but I need to say that many in the Christian faith stress a wife being submissive to her husband. The problem is that many people do not have a clear understanding of the word “submission” or what it means “to submit” including a lot of Christian leaders. Now I am not a bible scholar but I have not found any scripture that justifies a person abusing their spouse. In other words “submit does not equal hit.”
SEX, SEX, SEX
I know I did not have to use the word three times but if you think about it sex is being used in just about everything we experience. It’s not just the movies and music, its getting you to buy that car and/or washing machine to even what social groups you should join. The truth is that we have not done a great job of talking about sex. Talking about sex is not just saying “don’t have sex” or “keep your legs closed”; it’s discussing the physical and emotional aspects of sex. We have done a poor job of discussing abstinence. We tell young people to abstain from sex but once that person becomes an adult and decides to continue to abstain from sex we tell them that something is wrong with them. Of course we need to address the issue of sexual orientation which also includes a discussion on how to respectfully agree or disagree with a person’s sexual orientation.
SEXUAL ASSUALT/ MOLESTION
When a person is violated sexually it can be devastating. People often keep it a secret because of the shame they feel. Reporting a sexual assault can at times add to the person’s shame because of how the judicial system often treats them. When a child is molested or sexually assaulted they often not only feel shame and that some how deserved it but may have been threatened that if they tell they or a family member may be harmed. There is also the possibility that the victim of molestation has the potential of becoming a perpetrator. Many victims suffer in silence.
RAPE AS A FORM OF GENECIDE
Rape or sexual assault is not an act of sex it is an act of violence. But we don’t often associate rape with genocide. The legal definition of genocide is found in the United Nations Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide, Art. 2, written in 1948, which defines genocide as: “Any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such:
1. Killing members of the group
2. Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group
3. Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part
4. Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group
5. Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group
Rape as a war crime can be traced back in the Tokyo War Crime Trials. Rape specifically was identified as a crime of war for the first time in the Tokyo trials after World War II. In the Tokyo trials, commanders were held responsible for rapes committed by solders under their command.
Rape and sexual atrocity work as tools of genocide for many reasons:
Physical death
Submission and terror
Humiliation
Ethnic cleansing
Self hate
Community breakdown
Rape “dilutes” the race of the next generation
POLYGAMY/POLYAMORY/GROUP MARRIAGE
You may not know what either of these terms mean and why they should be discussed in relationship to HIV. Polygamy is a form of marriage where a person has more than one spouse. The show “Big Love” is about a man who has three wives. There are three forms of polygamy; 1) Polygyny where a man has more than one wife 2) Polyandry where a woman has more than one husband 3) Group marriage is a marriage that includes multiple husbands and wives.
Polyamory is the practice, desire and/or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the consent and knowledge of everyone involved.
You may be more familiar with the term bigamy which is the act and/or condition of any person marrying another person while still being legally married to another person. In most cases the first and the second spouse are not aware of each other.
Bigamy is illegal in most western countries but that does not mean that it is not practiced.
People may participate in these types of relationships due to spiritual, cultural and/or financial reasons. We have failed to recognize that these types of relationships exit more than we think.
ABORTION/INFANTICIDE
I know that abortion is a politically charged topic but with more people thinking that this is a viable option we have to discuss it. This topic should be addressed before a pregnancy occurs. There are many reasons why people choose abortion. People often feel that there are no alternatives.
Infanticide is the homicide of an infant. The act is committed most often because of the sex of the child. It also committed by a person who may be dealing with rage, substance abuse and/or mental health issues. Abortion and infanticide affect people emotionally long after the event takes place. It often has an effect on what types of relationships they choose to participate in.
FEMALE CIRCUMCISION/SEXUAL MUTALITION
This procedure involves the partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs "whether for cultural, religious or other non-therapeutic reason. The term is almost always used to describe traditional or religious procedures on a minor, which requires the parents' consent because of the age of the girl.
This procedure is usually done on girls aged four to eight but can take place at any age from infancy to adolescence. Most of the persons performing the procedure have no training relating to sterilization, anesthetics, proper use of medical instruments and what to do if complications arise. Shock from excessive bleeding can often lead to death. The failure to use sterilized medical instruments can lead to infections.
There are other serious long term health effects that can occur. This includes urinary and reproductive tract infections, caused by obstructed flow of urine and menstrual blood, various forms of scarring and infertility.
Sexual mutilation often takes place when there is civil war or conflict and the victim is also being sexually assaulted. If the victim is female her breast may be partially or completely removed. This is done so she can’t provide nourishment for her children. If the victim is male their testicles are either damaged or removed.
PROSTITUTION/SURVIVAL SEX
We often think that prostitution is just either the person standing on the corner on the seedy side of town or the high class person whose customers include politicians and/or celebrities. Let’s look at the definition of prostitution: The act of engaging in sexual intercourse or other sex acts in exchange for money or other goods/services. That covers a lot of things that we may not think that people would exchange for sex. Do you know that there many people who are exchanging sex for food, clothes, housing and/or employment. Most people who participate in prostitution or survival sex don’t stand on a street corner.
MENTAL ILLNESS
People who may need assistance with addressing mental illness/health issues often don’t because of the social stigma. The issue is that when it is not addressed it affects housing, medical, martial, family, legal and financial status. I don’t want to get into the causes, diagnosis and/or type of treatment because very person’s situation is different. I do believe that we should be strongly encouraging people to seek assistance. The bible has clear examples of people who struggled with mental illness. This means that not only is mental illness a medical/emotional issue it is also a spiritual issue.
ADDICTION
I know when we think about addiction able we often have an image of alcoholics and/or addicts on the street. But there are people who work every day and have an addiction to not just drugs or alcohol but also food, sex and or people. Addiction to pornography is more prevalent than what you might believe. In fact pornography is “the church’s crack/cocaine.” Because we don’t want to talk about sex in the church we definitely don’t want to address this type of addiction. There is often stigma that those who are addicted have to deal with and that often affects their decision to get help. Recovery from addiction is not easy and people often relapse. Relapse is a part of the recovery process.
HUMAN TRAFFICKING
Okay I know I said ten issues, but I want to add human trafficking which is inter related to some of the other issues. Human trafficking, is the illegal trade in human beings for the purposes of commercial sexual exploitation or forced labor, a modern-day form of slavery. Human trafficking is now the fastest growing criminal industry. Internally it is tied with the illegal arms trade as the second largest criminal activity following the drug trade. Human trafficking usually involves women and children.
Human trafficking is different from people smuggling. Smuggling occurs when a person voluntarily requests or hires an individual, known as a smuggler, to covertly transport them from one location to another. This usually involves transportation from one country to another, where they would be legally denied at the border. There is usually no deception involved in the (illegal) agreement. After the person arrives at their destination, the smuggled person is usually free to find their own way.
Human trafficking can take place in several different forms;
Bonded labor, or debt bondage, is probably the least known form of labor trafficking today, and yet it is the most widely used method of enslaving people. Victims become bonded laborers when their labor is demanded as a means of repayment for a loan or service in which its terms and conditions have not been defined or in which the value of the victims’ services as reasonably assessed is not applied toward the liquidation of the debt. The value of their work is greater than the original sum of money "borrowed”.
Forced labor is a situation in which victims are forced to work against their own will, under the threat of violence or some other form of punishment, their freedom is restricted and a degree of ownership is exerted. Men are at risk of being trafficked for unskilled work, which globally generates $31 billion according to the International Labor Organization Forms of forced labor can include domestic servitude; agricultural labor; sweatshop factory labor; janitorial, food service and other service industry labor; and begging.
Sex trafficking victims are generally found in dire circumstances and easily targeted by traffickers. Individuals, who are vulnerable to traffickers include homeless individuals, runaway teens, displaced homemakers, refugees, and drug addicts. While it may seem like trafficked people are the most vulnerable and powerless minorities in a region, victims are consistently exploited from any ethnic and social background.
Traffickers, also known as pimps or madams, exploit vulnerabilities and lack of opportunities, while offering promises of marriage, employment, education, and/or an overall better life. However, in the end, traffickers force the victims to become prostitutes or work in the sex industry. Various types of ‘jobs’ in the sex industry include prostitution, dancing in strip clubs, performing in pornographic film and other forms of involuntary servitude.
While human trafficking does not require travel or transport from one location to another, one form of sex trafficking involves international agents and brokers who arrange travel and job placements for women from one country to another. Women are lured to accompany traffickers based on promises of lucrative opportunities unachievable in their native country. However, once they reach their destination, the women discover that they have been deceived and learn the true nature of the work that they will be expected to do. Most have been deceived regarding the financial arrangements and conditions of their employment and find themselves in coercive or abusive situations from which escape is dangerous. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, there were 1,229 human trafficking incidents in the United States from January 2007- September 2008. Of these, 83 percent were sex trafficking cases.
Child labor is a form of work that is likely to be hazardous to the health and/or physical, mental, spiritual, moral or social development of children and can interfere with their education. The International Labor Organization estimates worldwide that there are 246 million exploited children aged between 5 and 17 involved in debt bondage, forced recruitment for armed conflict, prostitution, pornography, the illegal drug trade, the illegal arms trade and other illicit activities around the world.
I know that after reading this you may feel overwhelmed. Addressing these topics is necessary in the prevention of HIV. If we can prevent one person from becoming HIV positive by addressing these topics then this post has served its purpose.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
We Should Use Bishop Eddie Long's Situation To Examine Ourselves
I like many of you were saddened to hear the allegations against Bishop Eddie Long. When I first heard the allegations on CNN I could not believe that it. After hearing some of the details I felt that if it is true that other people had to know. Remember I said "if" it is true. I know that his stand on gay marriage has caused the allegations to get more attention.
I am concerned about how the media may use this situation to unfairly scrutinize the church. I hope that we don't lose sight that Bishop Ediie Long is just a man he is not God. I pray that God reveals the truth so that the healing can begin. I feel this is an opportunity for the body of Christ to address some issues that could help us grow spiritually.
ACCOUNTABILITY
Hearing the news about the Bishop I wondered "What about accountability?" Who is he accountable to? Then I began to ask myself "Who am I accountable to?" I know that I am accountable to God. But who else. My pastor, my netcare leader, spiritual mentor and/or ministry leader? For me the answer is yes to all the above. About four or five years ago I started wondering if my current place of worship was the right place for me to be. Before I jumped to join or even visit another church I talked with some people who I felt have either fed me or guided me spiritually. All of them stated that I should examine myself to make sure I am not trying to find a new church home for the wrong reasons. They also told me to continue to tithe to my current church home until I made a decision. At first I did not want to follow the sound advice I received but once I started examining myself I know they all were right. We all need someone to give us sound counsel and the willingness to listen.
BE SPIRITUALLY GROUNDED
Those of us who are believers hopefully understand that we need to read and study the bible on a daily basis. By reading and meditating on the word of God we stay focused on God. Praying the word also helps us to keep the focus. Being rooted and ground in the word is also part of our spiritual growth.
DON'T BE A VICTIM OF PROSPERITY
I am not say that this is the case in Bishop Eddie Long's situation nor am I saying that we should not want to prosper. In Our Daily Manna(www.ourdailymanna.org,a devotional reading (dated September 27th) addresed how we need to react to prosperity and adversity. In the reading it states,"Use your season of prosperity to plan for your season of adversity and use your season of adversity to caution yourself against your prosperity season." In the prayer points for that that day it states the "Prosperity has destroyed millions." It instructs us to decree that we will not be the next victim. It also asks us to pray for the grace to stand fast and pray despite any prosperity phase of our life. In other words don't lose focus on the source of your prosperity.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX
We need to have more Christian leaders to address sex in the pulpit. Part of the reason why HIV and other sexually transmitted infections is so rampant in black community is because we have failed to address sex in a practical way. When the AIDS epidemic was declared in the US many in the black Christian community felt that since it was a “Gay White Man’s Disease”, they did nothing to address it. How wrong they were because by 1983 there was already an epidemic in Sub-Saharan Africa. The church has to take some responsibility for the epidemic because we failed to address the issue of sex from the biblical perspective in the church. The church has to also take some responsibility for how people living with the disease have been treated. Not just how the person with the disease was treated but their families also.
As a matter of fact just stating “don’t have sex” is not enough. Abstinence, masturbation, fidelity, incest, sexual trauma, same sex relationships are some of the topics that need to be addressed. There also need to be discussion on how to agree and disagree on issues regarding same sex relationships and gay marriage.
I really believe that the crisis that Eddie Long is dealing can be a teachable moment for the body of Christ.
I am concerned about how the media may use this situation to unfairly scrutinize the church. I hope that we don't lose sight that Bishop Ediie Long is just a man he is not God. I pray that God reveals the truth so that the healing can begin. I feel this is an opportunity for the body of Christ to address some issues that could help us grow spiritually.
ACCOUNTABILITY
Hearing the news about the Bishop I wondered "What about accountability?" Who is he accountable to? Then I began to ask myself "Who am I accountable to?" I know that I am accountable to God. But who else. My pastor, my netcare leader, spiritual mentor and/or ministry leader? For me the answer is yes to all the above. About four or five years ago I started wondering if my current place of worship was the right place for me to be. Before I jumped to join or even visit another church I talked with some people who I felt have either fed me or guided me spiritually. All of them stated that I should examine myself to make sure I am not trying to find a new church home for the wrong reasons. They also told me to continue to tithe to my current church home until I made a decision. At first I did not want to follow the sound advice I received but once I started examining myself I know they all were right. We all need someone to give us sound counsel and the willingness to listen.
BE SPIRITUALLY GROUNDED
Those of us who are believers hopefully understand that we need to read and study the bible on a daily basis. By reading and meditating on the word of God we stay focused on God. Praying the word also helps us to keep the focus. Being rooted and ground in the word is also part of our spiritual growth.
DON'T BE A VICTIM OF PROSPERITY
I am not say that this is the case in Bishop Eddie Long's situation nor am I saying that we should not want to prosper. In Our Daily Manna(www.ourdailymanna.org,a devotional reading (dated September 27th) addresed how we need to react to prosperity and adversity. In the reading it states,"Use your season of prosperity to plan for your season of adversity and use your season of adversity to caution yourself against your prosperity season." In the prayer points for that that day it states the "Prosperity has destroyed millions." It instructs us to decree that we will not be the next victim. It also asks us to pray for the grace to stand fast and pray despite any prosperity phase of our life. In other words don't lose focus on the source of your prosperity.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX
We need to have more Christian leaders to address sex in the pulpit. Part of the reason why HIV and other sexually transmitted infections is so rampant in black community is because we have failed to address sex in a practical way. When the AIDS epidemic was declared in the US many in the black Christian community felt that since it was a “Gay White Man’s Disease”, they did nothing to address it. How wrong they were because by 1983 there was already an epidemic in Sub-Saharan Africa. The church has to take some responsibility for the epidemic because we failed to address the issue of sex from the biblical perspective in the church. The church has to also take some responsibility for how people living with the disease have been treated. Not just how the person with the disease was treated but their families also.
As a matter of fact just stating “don’t have sex” is not enough. Abstinence, masturbation, fidelity, incest, sexual trauma, same sex relationships are some of the topics that need to be addressed. There also need to be discussion on how to agree and disagree on issues regarding same sex relationships and gay marriage.
I really believe that the crisis that Eddie Long is dealing can be a teachable moment for the body of Christ.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
South Street Mobs
Tonight after attending a Femi Kuti concert at the Theater of the Living Arts (TLA) on South Street I witnessed something that I really don’t understand. There were mobs of young African- Americans everywhere. But so were the police. You could barely walk down the street. Now I don’t understand what the deal is about flooding South Street at a time when most of the stores are closed and restaurants are starting to shut down. I walked from 4th & South to 11th & South to wait for the 23 bus. As I was walking I saw a lot of young people who clearly were too young to be out on the street after 12 midnight. When I got to 11th & South I heard the police telling the crowds that were coming from Broad Street that they had to turn around because they would not be allowed to go any further.
After waiting at 11th & South for about 5 minutes a police told me and 3 other people that we could not stand on the corner to wait for the bus. He told us that we had to go either one block south or north to catch the bus. I decided I would walk one block south. Now there was a young lady and two guys on the corner with me and they started walking south also. I thought that they all were going to catch the bus. Apparently the young lady was going to catch the bus and one of the guys was trying to talk to her. I thought they were a couple because when I first got to the corner they were in a tight embrace (I mean so tight air could not get between them) against the wall. As they were walking the one guy was trying to get the young lady’s telephone number and was saying some things that I thought were very inappropriate. But the young lady was also saying things that were inappropriate, like making references to the size of the guy’s penis and how she did not feel anything when he hugged her. That made him angry and his friend encouraged his to stop talking to the young lady and walk to Broad Street. S o the young lady and I were standing on the corner waiting for the bus. She did not look anymore that 13 or 14 but her body was very developed and let just say that her clothes were very tight. As we stood on the corner waiting for the bus men driving by were either whistling or making very sexual comments to the young lady. I decided to take a cab to 11th & Market Streets. I could not see leaving the young lady standing on corner by herself. So I asked how far she was going. She stated that she will take the 23 bus to Germantown. I suggested that she get in the cab with me and she did. I had to ask her why she was on South Street by herself and what is so great about coming down to this area. She stated that she was with some friends and she got bored just walking up and down the street so she left them. I asked her if she had a curfew she said “No that’s really old fashioned”. I her why she was calling her friends to see if they got home when I did not see her call any of her family. She said that since they all came to South Street together she knows that some of her friends’ parents would be worried. I asked her about her parents she stated, “I guess my mom would be concerned”. I went on to give her some advice about her behavior and dress. She seemed to listen. Once we got to 11th & Market Street we both got out of the cab and walked across the street to the bus stop. I encouraged her to call her mother which she did and to make sure she goes straight home.
Now call me old fashioned but when did having a curfew go out of style. I wonder how many parents knew that their children were on South Street after midnight. Even though I am not a parent I feel like I have some responsibility to these children too. Each of us has a responsibility to talk to the young people in our families and neighborhoods. Even if the young lady would have gotten upset with me I still felt that I needed to address her behavior and dress. I know that society says that children should have the freedom to express themselves but I believe that we have let go too far. When I was walking on South Street I saw young girls wearing next nothing while wearing six inch heels (I call them killer heels because it you trip or fall you definitely could kill yourself). Some of the young ladies were using language that would make you cringe. They were discussing who they had been with; if it was good while calling each other b’s, slouts and hoes. Their language was worse than the guys.
I wish I would be younger than 18 and out after 12midnite wearing nothing. I know that my parents especially my father would come looking for me. Okay some people would say that some of the parents are out on the street themselves but not all of them. Since I have witnessed this mob thing first hand I am more likely to be more proactive when talking to the young people I come in contact with. I pray that they were not major incidents on South Street tonight. I also hope that people will take a more active role in breaking the “mob mentality”.
After waiting at 11th & South for about 5 minutes a police told me and 3 other people that we could not stand on the corner to wait for the bus. He told us that we had to go either one block south or north to catch the bus. I decided I would walk one block south. Now there was a young lady and two guys on the corner with me and they started walking south also. I thought that they all were going to catch the bus. Apparently the young lady was going to catch the bus and one of the guys was trying to talk to her. I thought they were a couple because when I first got to the corner they were in a tight embrace (I mean so tight air could not get between them) against the wall. As they were walking the one guy was trying to get the young lady’s telephone number and was saying some things that I thought were very inappropriate. But the young lady was also saying things that were inappropriate, like making references to the size of the guy’s penis and how she did not feel anything when he hugged her. That made him angry and his friend encouraged his to stop talking to the young lady and walk to Broad Street. S o the young lady and I were standing on the corner waiting for the bus. She did not look anymore that 13 or 14 but her body was very developed and let just say that her clothes were very tight. As we stood on the corner waiting for the bus men driving by were either whistling or making very sexual comments to the young lady. I decided to take a cab to 11th & Market Streets. I could not see leaving the young lady standing on corner by herself. So I asked how far she was going. She stated that she will take the 23 bus to Germantown. I suggested that she get in the cab with me and she did. I had to ask her why she was on South Street by herself and what is so great about coming down to this area. She stated that she was with some friends and she got bored just walking up and down the street so she left them. I asked her if she had a curfew she said “No that’s really old fashioned”. I her why she was calling her friends to see if they got home when I did not see her call any of her family. She said that since they all came to South Street together she knows that some of her friends’ parents would be worried. I asked her about her parents she stated, “I guess my mom would be concerned”. I went on to give her some advice about her behavior and dress. She seemed to listen. Once we got to 11th & Market Street we both got out of the cab and walked across the street to the bus stop. I encouraged her to call her mother which she did and to make sure she goes straight home.
Now call me old fashioned but when did having a curfew go out of style. I wonder how many parents knew that their children were on South Street after midnight. Even though I am not a parent I feel like I have some responsibility to these children too. Each of us has a responsibility to talk to the young people in our families and neighborhoods. Even if the young lady would have gotten upset with me I still felt that I needed to address her behavior and dress. I know that society says that children should have the freedom to express themselves but I believe that we have let go too far. When I was walking on South Street I saw young girls wearing next nothing while wearing six inch heels (I call them killer heels because it you trip or fall you definitely could kill yourself). Some of the young ladies were using language that would make you cringe. They were discussing who they had been with; if it was good while calling each other b’s, slouts and hoes. Their language was worse than the guys.
I wish I would be younger than 18 and out after 12midnite wearing nothing. I know that my parents especially my father would come looking for me. Okay some people would say that some of the parents are out on the street themselves but not all of them. Since I have witnessed this mob thing first hand I am more likely to be more proactive when talking to the young people I come in contact with. I pray that they were not major incidents on South Street tonight. I also hope that people will take a more active role in breaking the “mob mentality”.
Monday, May 10, 2010
The Movie “Just Wright” Is Just Right for a Conversation about Relationships
I went to a special screening tonight for the movie “Just Wright” starring Queen Latifah, Common and Paula Patton. I thought the movie was excellent and will go see it again this weekend. Before I expound on the movie I want to talk about the screening. I received an email from www.wheredastaintsat.com announcing the screening. I receive emails from them regularly and they often send me information that if I can’t use I pass on to my friends. I clicked on the link to register. I registered myself and a guest. I had asked my friend Valerie who just graduated from nursing school and passed the licensure test to attend the screening with me. I knew that nursing school was stressful so I knew that she would enjoy going to a movie. When I received the confirmation email it stated that I was registered for the screening in Atlanta. I knew that was a mistake and I quickly sent an email to the promotional marketing company that was overseeing the screenings. A very short time later I received a response from Felicia at Liquid Soul Media, www.liquidsoulmedia.com. The email informed me that there was a glitch and that they were working to correct it and that I have indeed registered for the screening in Philadelphia. I appreciated the very prompt response from Felicia.
The screening was being held at the “Bridge” Cinema Duplex at 40th & Walnut Streets on the University of Pennsylvania Campus. I got there a little after 6pm. I walked into the theatre and did not see any signs that the screening was going to take place. I got in line to ask an attendant but noticed people just walking down the hallway and going to the left. I followed behind them and stopped to ask another theatre attendant and she pointed down another long hallway pass the concession stand where there were people standing in a line. I went to a table at the end of the hallway where they had what looked like posters sitting on it. I asked someone at the table where I sign in. I received blank stares but no response. I decided to go get in the line and wait for Valerie to come. I called Valerie on her cell to let her know that I was standing in line inside the theatre. According to the confirmation email registration for the screening would start at 7pm and it was just 6:15pm. While in line I talked with different people discussing the different events that we had been to recently. The conversation helped the time to pass. While in line they gave out posters, pocket mirrors and key chains. By 6:45pm event staff was going to each person in line to check them in. Valerie still had not gotten there yet. We were allowed to go inside to find seats. Let me say this, the seats aren’t made for “big girls” like me. I asked one of the event staff to let Valerie in when she comes. Valerie finally arrived a little after 7pm. We were seated in what some would call the “nose bleed section” but because the theatre was kinda of small it did not matter. A man got up and introduced himself as Christopher I believe. I don’t remember where he said he was from and/or who he represented. He introduced someone who goes by the name “Sexy C” who has a radio and tv program. It was hard to hear everything that she was saying because of problems with the microphone. I thought I would get her card after the screening so I could check out her radio program. The movie was shown. I must say I have always liked Queen Latifah and Common but I see that they are both very talent actors who have great screen presence. I am one of those people who believe that most rappers should not act. Queen Latifah and Common certainly blow that belief out of the water. I don’t know too much about Paula Patton’s work but she was great in the movie also.
After the screening while people were leaving the theatre there were some many different conversations going on. Yes, there were the usual ones regarding getting out of the theatre and going to the bathroom. What impressed me about this movie is that it caused some intense and passionate discussions about relationships. I saw couples talking about the movie but what I really enjoyed was seeing groups of people who were young adults to senior citizens talking about what they felt was appropriate behavior in regards to dating. Even Valerie and I found ourselves joining in on the conversations of strangers. I don’t go to movies often so this was a very unique experience for me. This movie made me think about my past dating experiences. I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing but I believe it is necessary to examine one’s own behavior. This movie was great for not only having conversations with others about relationships but having the conversation with one’s own self.
The screening was being held at the “Bridge” Cinema Duplex at 40th & Walnut Streets on the University of Pennsylvania Campus. I got there a little after 6pm. I walked into the theatre and did not see any signs that the screening was going to take place. I got in line to ask an attendant but noticed people just walking down the hallway and going to the left. I followed behind them and stopped to ask another theatre attendant and she pointed down another long hallway pass the concession stand where there were people standing in a line. I went to a table at the end of the hallway where they had what looked like posters sitting on it. I asked someone at the table where I sign in. I received blank stares but no response. I decided to go get in the line and wait for Valerie to come. I called Valerie on her cell to let her know that I was standing in line inside the theatre. According to the confirmation email registration for the screening would start at 7pm and it was just 6:15pm. While in line I talked with different people discussing the different events that we had been to recently. The conversation helped the time to pass. While in line they gave out posters, pocket mirrors and key chains. By 6:45pm event staff was going to each person in line to check them in. Valerie still had not gotten there yet. We were allowed to go inside to find seats. Let me say this, the seats aren’t made for “big girls” like me. I asked one of the event staff to let Valerie in when she comes. Valerie finally arrived a little after 7pm. We were seated in what some would call the “nose bleed section” but because the theatre was kinda of small it did not matter. A man got up and introduced himself as Christopher I believe. I don’t remember where he said he was from and/or who he represented. He introduced someone who goes by the name “Sexy C” who has a radio and tv program. It was hard to hear everything that she was saying because of problems with the microphone. I thought I would get her card after the screening so I could check out her radio program. The movie was shown. I must say I have always liked Queen Latifah and Common but I see that they are both very talent actors who have great screen presence. I am one of those people who believe that most rappers should not act. Queen Latifah and Common certainly blow that belief out of the water. I don’t know too much about Paula Patton’s work but she was great in the movie also.
After the screening while people were leaving the theatre there were some many different conversations going on. Yes, there were the usual ones regarding getting out of the theatre and going to the bathroom. What impressed me about this movie is that it caused some intense and passionate discussions about relationships. I saw couples talking about the movie but what I really enjoyed was seeing groups of people who were young adults to senior citizens talking about what they felt was appropriate behavior in regards to dating. Even Valerie and I found ourselves joining in on the conversations of strangers. I don’t go to movies often so this was a very unique experience for me. This movie made me think about my past dating experiences. I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing but I believe it is necessary to examine one’s own behavior. This movie was great for not only having conversations with others about relationships but having the conversation with one’s own self.
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Tuesday, March 23, 2010
TURNING 50 MY YEAR OF APPRECIATION
In January, I started receiving initiations to join AARP. At first I was a little upset because no one wants to think of themselves as old. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that there was a part of me that did not want to accept that I was turning 50 in a few months. Yes, the big 5-0! Once I confronted the fact that time was marching on (no pun intended) I started to realize how much I have to be thankful for. There are so many friends and family that did not make it to the year 2010 let alone 50. Because I have made a conscious decision not to dye my hair there are some who think that I am already 50. I prefer to think of my decision not to dye my hair is to let my wisdom show. I can tell you in the last few years I have gained so much wisdom and knowledge about myself and what I want out of life. One of the things that has helped me grow spiritually is reading Our Daily Manna (ODM), www.ourdailymanna.org. I read the Morning Prayer, Daily Devotionals and Daily Prophetic Declarations every morning. It sets the tone for my day. ODM also has another book entitled “Prayer Bullets for Winners”, which I use for specific issues. I called their main office in Lagos, Nigeria to let them know that they are greatly appreciated.
I have grown so much and have been giving so many unique opportunities. I have had the opportunity to work with people with HIV for 30 years. Because of that experience I have been able to travel around the world. I also started not only writing about my experiences with HIV but also my personal experiences. Writing about some of my personal experiences has been painful but healing at the same time. I never thought that other people would be interested in what I was thinking or what I had to say. I just happen to be searching the internet and found this station called "talk gospel.com". The station which was based in UK was a part of Premier Media . Premier is the largest Christian media outlet in Europe. Talk Gospel primary featured African and Caribbean pastors and played all urban gospel. Through one of the DJ's I learned about str8up.com.uk. I went to the website which was mainly geared to 15 to 35 year olds. On that website there are opportunities to voice your opinion on a variety of topics. I decided to write about my experiences working with the HIV community. I never thought that I would see my experiences on a screen. I was very grateful for the opportunity. During this time I also decided that I wanted to use the public/community relations experience to serve the faith-based community so I founded my own company, Faith & Knowledge in Action, LLC. I have been able to assist community and faith-based organizations with getting the word out about their events and services. Fast forward to last year when I met Eric Nzeribe the publisher of Funtimes Magazine at one of the Mayor's Commission on African and Caribbean Immigrant Affairs' meetings. At first Eric asked me to assist him with preparing for the grand opening of his new offices. As time went on I found myself using a lot of the skills that I acquired in the last 30 years. Now I am officially the Media & Community Relations Consultant for the Magazine. I have had the good luck to interview some of the most exciting African and Caribbean musicians. I also have had gained professional experience promoting the magazine while attending great events.
Well today, March 22nd is my birthday. I did not plan a big party or grand vacation. I am just basking in the fact that I am still alive and that there is so much that I have to look forward to. I so appreciate all of my friends and family that has helped me through some very difficult periods of my life. I now have the chance to talk about my experiences so that others can be helped and find some peace. I could start thanking people who have blessed me but that would almost be a page by itself. While others who are turning 50 this year want to turn back I instead want to march forward. Most of all I am thankful to God that he loved me so much that he has allowed me to see 50. Remember that each day is a blessing!
I have grown so much and have been giving so many unique opportunities. I have had the opportunity to work with people with HIV for 30 years. Because of that experience I have been able to travel around the world. I also started not only writing about my experiences with HIV but also my personal experiences. Writing about some of my personal experiences has been painful but healing at the same time. I never thought that other people would be interested in what I was thinking or what I had to say. I just happen to be searching the internet and found this station called "talk gospel.com". The station which was based in UK was a part of Premier Media . Premier is the largest Christian media outlet in Europe. Talk Gospel primary featured African and Caribbean pastors and played all urban gospel. Through one of the DJ's I learned about str8up.com.uk. I went to the website which was mainly geared to 15 to 35 year olds. On that website there are opportunities to voice your opinion on a variety of topics. I decided to write about my experiences working with the HIV community. I never thought that I would see my experiences on a screen. I was very grateful for the opportunity. During this time I also decided that I wanted to use the public/community relations experience to serve the faith-based community so I founded my own company, Faith & Knowledge in Action, LLC. I have been able to assist community and faith-based organizations with getting the word out about their events and services. Fast forward to last year when I met Eric Nzeribe the publisher of Funtimes Magazine at one of the Mayor's Commission on African and Caribbean Immigrant Affairs' meetings. At first Eric asked me to assist him with preparing for the grand opening of his new offices. As time went on I found myself using a lot of the skills that I acquired in the last 30 years. Now I am officially the Media & Community Relations Consultant for the Magazine. I have had the good luck to interview some of the most exciting African and Caribbean musicians. I also have had gained professional experience promoting the magazine while attending great events.
Well today, March 22nd is my birthday. I did not plan a big party or grand vacation. I am just basking in the fact that I am still alive and that there is so much that I have to look forward to. I so appreciate all of my friends and family that has helped me through some very difficult periods of my life. I now have the chance to talk about my experiences so that others can be helped and find some peace. I could start thanking people who have blessed me but that would almost be a page by itself. While others who are turning 50 this year want to turn back I instead want to march forward. Most of all I am thankful to God that he loved me so much that he has allowed me to see 50. Remember that each day is a blessing!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
National Women’s and Girls’ HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
March 10th marked the annual National Women’s and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. It seemed to be appropriate to commemorate this day during Women’s History Month. Women are making history, especially women of color, sadly in regards to the number of new cases of HIV/AIDS.
According to the CDC in 2007, more than 25 percent of diagnoses of HIV infection in the United States were among women and girls aged 13 years and older. The numbers are unsettling: More than 278,000 women and adolescent girls in this country are living with HIV; and almost 94,000 American women and girls with AIDS have died since the epidemic began. Women and girls of color—especially black women and girls—bear a disproportionately heavy burden of HIV/AIDS. In 2007, for female adults and adolescents, the rate of HIV/AIDS diagnoses for black females was nearly 20 times as high as the rate for white females and nearly 4 times as high as the rate for Hispanic/Latino females. Relatively few cases were diagnosed among Asian, American Indian/Alaska Native, and Native Hawaiian/other Pacific Islander females, although the rates for these groups were higher than the rate for white females.
HIV/AIDS was the leading cause of death among African American women ages 25-34 and the third leading cause for ages 35-44 in 2002. Heterosexual contact or injection drug use is the primary modes of transmission of HIV for women across racial/ethnic groups.
These statistics are downright depressing. I am often asked why the number of African American women living with HIV/AIDS is so high. If you look at the history of HIV we may find the answers. Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) was defined for the first time in 1982 according to the UNAIDS’ fact sheet “Twenty years of HIV/AIDS.” In that year three modes of transmission were identified: blood transfusion, mother–to-daughter and sexual intercourse. The Human Immunodeficiency Virus was identified as the cause of AIDS in 1983 and in that same year an epidemic of AIDS was reported in Africa. In Africa most of those infected were heterosexual. In most parts of the world the disease was portrayed as a disease that was only affecting “gay white men.” AIDS is not now nor ever has been just a “gay white man’s disease.” Since the focus was on a certain type of lifestyle, the thought of women being infected was often overlooked.
What really amazes me is the fact that there was a time in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s that African-American women who worked in the home health field were the main ones taking care of those persons living with AIDS. If you think about the history of this country and the role African American women played from slavery to the civil rights era they were always caring for other people while being forced to neglect their our families. But somehow many of them managed to keep their families together as much as possible.
AIDS works along with domestic violence, substance abuse, lack of education and access to health care, mental illness, homelessness, unemployment, incarceration and yes, low self-esteem to wreak havoc on the African American community. Since African American women are the heads of the household in many families, whatever affects them will affect the family. African American women have often been trailblazers in education, science and politics. What will happen if we don’t address the HIV in the African American community? We are in danger of losing generations of women who will never have a chance to make history.
Thankfully there is some good news. Women of color are now more involved with the research treatment and prevention of HIV. We need more women in clinical trials because medications work differently in women. I am glad to know that African American women of all age groups are speaking out about HIV. Now I realize that everyone may not agree with how and why women are speaking out but at least they are doing something.
My hope and prayer is that women will take time to talk about the treatment and prevention of the disease. Everyone should get tested regardless of your martial status. Make getting tested for HIV apart of your annual check up. If you know someone living with HIV encourage him or her to seek treatment. This is our chance to improve the lives of future generations of women. Remember knowledge equals life, ignorance equals death.
According to the CDC in 2007, more than 25 percent of diagnoses of HIV infection in the United States were among women and girls aged 13 years and older. The numbers are unsettling: More than 278,000 women and adolescent girls in this country are living with HIV; and almost 94,000 American women and girls with AIDS have died since the epidemic began. Women and girls of color—especially black women and girls—bear a disproportionately heavy burden of HIV/AIDS. In 2007, for female adults and adolescents, the rate of HIV/AIDS diagnoses for black females was nearly 20 times as high as the rate for white females and nearly 4 times as high as the rate for Hispanic/Latino females. Relatively few cases were diagnosed among Asian, American Indian/Alaska Native, and Native Hawaiian/other Pacific Islander females, although the rates for these groups were higher than the rate for white females.
HIV/AIDS was the leading cause of death among African American women ages 25-34 and the third leading cause for ages 35-44 in 2002. Heterosexual contact or injection drug use is the primary modes of transmission of HIV for women across racial/ethnic groups.
These statistics are downright depressing. I am often asked why the number of African American women living with HIV/AIDS is so high. If you look at the history of HIV we may find the answers. Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) was defined for the first time in 1982 according to the UNAIDS’ fact sheet “Twenty years of HIV/AIDS.” In that year three modes of transmission were identified: blood transfusion, mother–to-daughter and sexual intercourse. The Human Immunodeficiency Virus was identified as the cause of AIDS in 1983 and in that same year an epidemic of AIDS was reported in Africa. In Africa most of those infected were heterosexual. In most parts of the world the disease was portrayed as a disease that was only affecting “gay white men.” AIDS is not now nor ever has been just a “gay white man’s disease.” Since the focus was on a certain type of lifestyle, the thought of women being infected was often overlooked.
What really amazes me is the fact that there was a time in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s that African-American women who worked in the home health field were the main ones taking care of those persons living with AIDS. If you think about the history of this country and the role African American women played from slavery to the civil rights era they were always caring for other people while being forced to neglect their our families. But somehow many of them managed to keep their families together as much as possible.
AIDS works along with domestic violence, substance abuse, lack of education and access to health care, mental illness, homelessness, unemployment, incarceration and yes, low self-esteem to wreak havoc on the African American community. Since African American women are the heads of the household in many families, whatever affects them will affect the family. African American women have often been trailblazers in education, science and politics. What will happen if we don’t address the HIV in the African American community? We are in danger of losing generations of women who will never have a chance to make history.
Thankfully there is some good news. Women of color are now more involved with the research treatment and prevention of HIV. We need more women in clinical trials because medications work differently in women. I am glad to know that African American women of all age groups are speaking out about HIV. Now I realize that everyone may not agree with how and why women are speaking out but at least they are doing something.
My hope and prayer is that women will take time to talk about the treatment and prevention of the disease. Everyone should get tested regardless of your martial status. Make getting tested for HIV apart of your annual check up. If you know someone living with HIV encourage him or her to seek treatment. This is our chance to improve the lives of future generations of women. Remember knowledge equals life, ignorance equals death.
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Ten Things Christians Need to Know About HIV/AIDS
According to UNAIDS there were 33.4 million people living with AIDS, 2.1 million are children. December 1st is World AIDS Day. Over the 29 years that I have worked with people with HIV/AIDS, people often ask the same questions. I thought I would put together a list of the ten most asked questions and/or statements made by those who identify themselves as Christians about HIV.
1) AIDS is a Gay White Man’s disease. This is false, in fact in 1983 when people diagnosed with this disease were mainly gay white men in the United States; there was already an epidemic in sub-Saharan Africa. This is where the African-American community got tripped up. Because they only saw images of white men with this disease many thought that this would not affect our community. How wrong we were.
2) You can tell if a person has AIDS by looking at them. False. There is no way you can tell by appearance.
3) You can get HIV by sharing cooking utensils. False. If you are cleaning your properly this should not be a concern. So if you are giving the person living with HIV the plastic ware while others are using regular silverware, please stop it. Let me take this a step further, there is not biblical justification for making people who are living with HIV sit on special pews in a special section of the church. I know that there are some people who feel that people with HIV should be treated like those who suffered from Leprosy in the bible. Leprosy is caused by a bacteria or germ called Mycobacterium leprae. It is an infection that affects the skin and the nerves of the hands and feet and can also cause problems in the eyes and the nose. Is leprosy in the bible the same as it is today? No. The Hebrew word for leprosy refers to many types of skin diseases. It is not necessary to isolate a person with leprosy and it is not transmitted through sexual contact and/or pregnancy. You can go to www.leprosy.org for more information.
4) People with HIV/AIDS should not be baptized. False. You cannot get HIV from getting in a body of water with someone who has it. There is no biblical justification for refusing to baptize a HIV positive person. In other words it’s not about Jesus it’s about our lack of knowledge and/or ignorance.
5) AIDS is a death sentence. False. At one time when we first became aware of the epidemic this would have been true. Now because there are more medications available, people are living longer. There are people who have been living with this disease for over 25 years. Of course there are other factors that will affect the lifespan of a person with HIV. That’s why testing and treatment are important. The most important thing is the person’s attitude because that will affect how they deal with living with the virus.
6) Christians who are HIV positive should not take medication. False. It is up to the person with HIV and their doctor to make that decision. God can use medication to heal too.
7) Everyone who has HIV became infected through sexual contact. False. Although most of the people living with HIV became infected through sexual contact (heterosexual), there are people who became infected through IV drug use, blood transfusions and mother to child transmission. Let’s talk about sexual contact and the prevention of HIV. Condoms are not 100% effective in preventing the transmission of HIV. Condoms are about 85% effective. If you add in human error they are even less effective. Condoms are usually stored in the junk drawer and/or the bottom of a pocketbook where you risk the condoms getting tiny punctures. Storing them in a wallet is better but they still could be damaged by body heat. Condoms that come in flavors really should not be used for penile/vaginal sex; they are primarily for oral sex. The only thing that is 100% is abstinence.
7) People living with HIV should never have children. False. Whenever anyone wants to start a family there are medical, financial, emotional and spiritual factors that should be considered. It is possible for an HIV positive person to have a baby who is HIV negative.
8) People Living with HIV should not work. False. Since there are new medications people with HIV are living longer. However, before starting a new job or returning to school they should check with their physician first.
9) Once you reach a certain age or experience menopause you can’t get HIV. False. This is just wrong, wrong, wrong! Many older women believe that if you can’t get pregnant then you can’t get HIV. This is absolutely not true. The fact of the matter is that people are living longer and yes are having sex. And it not just because of Viagra and Levitra. The numbers of women (especially African-American women) over 50 who are HIV positive is increasing.
Now after reading this some of you may be offended. Believe me that is not my intention. I want to make sure that the Christian community has the correct information so we want to be effective in showing the love of Christ to those living with HIV and eliminating the stigma associated with HIV. There are many people who are affected and don’t know it. Prevention, early intervention and treatment are key. I also want each person to strongly consider getting tested. Everyone should know his or her status. Talk to your doctor or health care provider about getting tested. If you choose not to go your health care provider contact either your local or state health department. You may also call 1(800) CDC-INFO (232-4636), TTY 1 888-232-6348. Remember that ignorance equal death. Knowledge equals life.
1) AIDS is a Gay White Man’s disease. This is false, in fact in 1983 when people diagnosed with this disease were mainly gay white men in the United States; there was already an epidemic in sub-Saharan Africa. This is where the African-American community got tripped up. Because they only saw images of white men with this disease many thought that this would not affect our community. How wrong we were.
2) You can tell if a person has AIDS by looking at them. False. There is no way you can tell by appearance.
3) You can get HIV by sharing cooking utensils. False. If you are cleaning your properly this should not be a concern. So if you are giving the person living with HIV the plastic ware while others are using regular silverware, please stop it. Let me take this a step further, there is not biblical justification for making people who are living with HIV sit on special pews in a special section of the church. I know that there are some people who feel that people with HIV should be treated like those who suffered from Leprosy in the bible. Leprosy is caused by a bacteria or germ called Mycobacterium leprae. It is an infection that affects the skin and the nerves of the hands and feet and can also cause problems in the eyes and the nose. Is leprosy in the bible the same as it is today? No. The Hebrew word for leprosy refers to many types of skin diseases. It is not necessary to isolate a person with leprosy and it is not transmitted through sexual contact and/or pregnancy. You can go to www.leprosy.org for more information.
4) People with HIV/AIDS should not be baptized. False. You cannot get HIV from getting in a body of water with someone who has it. There is no biblical justification for refusing to baptize a HIV positive person. In other words it’s not about Jesus it’s about our lack of knowledge and/or ignorance.
5) AIDS is a death sentence. False. At one time when we first became aware of the epidemic this would have been true. Now because there are more medications available, people are living longer. There are people who have been living with this disease for over 25 years. Of course there are other factors that will affect the lifespan of a person with HIV. That’s why testing and treatment are important. The most important thing is the person’s attitude because that will affect how they deal with living with the virus.
6) Christians who are HIV positive should not take medication. False. It is up to the person with HIV and their doctor to make that decision. God can use medication to heal too.
7) Everyone who has HIV became infected through sexual contact. False. Although most of the people living with HIV became infected through sexual contact (heterosexual), there are people who became infected through IV drug use, blood transfusions and mother to child transmission. Let’s talk about sexual contact and the prevention of HIV. Condoms are not 100% effective in preventing the transmission of HIV. Condoms are about 85% effective. If you add in human error they are even less effective. Condoms are usually stored in the junk drawer and/or the bottom of a pocketbook where you risk the condoms getting tiny punctures. Storing them in a wallet is better but they still could be damaged by body heat. Condoms that come in flavors really should not be used for penile/vaginal sex; they are primarily for oral sex. The only thing that is 100% is abstinence.
7) People living with HIV should never have children. False. Whenever anyone wants to start a family there are medical, financial, emotional and spiritual factors that should be considered. It is possible for an HIV positive person to have a baby who is HIV negative.
8) People Living with HIV should not work. False. Since there are new medications people with HIV are living longer. However, before starting a new job or returning to school they should check with their physician first.
9) Once you reach a certain age or experience menopause you can’t get HIV. False. This is just wrong, wrong, wrong! Many older women believe that if you can’t get pregnant then you can’t get HIV. This is absolutely not true. The fact of the matter is that people are living longer and yes are having sex. And it not just because of Viagra and Levitra. The numbers of women (especially African-American women) over 50 who are HIV positive is increasing.
Now after reading this some of you may be offended. Believe me that is not my intention. I want to make sure that the Christian community has the correct information so we want to be effective in showing the love of Christ to those living with HIV and eliminating the stigma associated with HIV. There are many people who are affected and don’t know it. Prevention, early intervention and treatment are key. I also want each person to strongly consider getting tested. Everyone should know his or her status. Talk to your doctor or health care provider about getting tested. If you choose not to go your health care provider contact either your local or state health department. You may also call 1(800) CDC-INFO (232-4636), TTY 1 888-232-6348. Remember that ignorance equal death. Knowledge equals life.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Pastors Don’t Want to Discuss Domestic Violence. Surprised Not!!
As the commemoration of Domestic Violence Awareness Month comes to a close I thought that it would helpful for people to understand why many pastors do not want to talk about this issue with their congregations. I can give at least four reasons why they don’t want to address it.
1) They themselves maybe or have been perpetrators of domestic violence (Yes I went there). There are pastors who are perpetrators and their deacons, elders and ministry leaders know it but they are afraid to call them on it. Often times the church leaders don’t want to appear to be attacking the pastor, cause disruption in the congregation, being shunned by other members, being removed from their ministry position, being asked to leave the church. Now you should make sure that there is abuse before approaching the pastor. Pray about if you have any doubts because once you make the accusation and it not true it will be difficult to restore the person’s reputation. If you witness it you need to address it with the leadership so both parties involved can be offered assistance. Be prepared to be osterized or removed from a position and/or asked to leave the church if the leadership is not ready to address the issue with the pastor.
2) They may have experienced seeing a parent abused and not have dealt with it. People who have witnessed abuse of a parent/family member may suppress the experience as a coping skill. Some may feel guilty because they wish they would have and /or could have stopped it. In order to receive healing and peace sometimes we have visit painful experiences. In Jesus there is freedom, healing and deliverance. Enough said!!
3) They are afraid of the reaction of congregation’s reaction. There are still some people who may feel that the church is not a place to address such (social issues). Now correct me if I am wrong didn’t the bible address social issues like rape, incest, adultery, homeless and hunger just to name a few. I guarantee you that at least one person in your congregation has either experienced or witnessed abuse. If the bible addressed such issues why shouldn’t we be able to discuss the same issues in the church? Make sure you are presenting it in a practical biblical way.
4) They are fearful of losing income (tithes and offering). Yes I went there again. I hope I don’t need to explain this. If I do please email me.
Okay I should have said at least five.
5) They really don’t have a clear understanding of the definition of domestic
violence and the forms it could take. I would suggest two wonderful websites; The Black Church and Domestic Violence Institute www.bcdi.org and the Faith Trust Institute www.faithtrustinstitute.org. Both organizations have a lot of resources to offer.
If your pastor does not want to address the issue and you feel God is leading you to do that ministry then I suggest you contact the organizations listed above and local organizations in your area. Volunteering with an organization that deals with domestic violence is a good place to start. You may even find someone who can assist you with designing a presentation for your church. Talk to women who have been victims (and we all know someone).
I want to share my personal testimony. I was in an abusive relationship for 15 years. Near the end of the relationship I started attending a church near my home. The pastor was young and I believe he meant well but did not have a clear understanding when he suggested that I marry my ex because know each other. Yes I was shacking up but that’s still does not give any justification for abuse. I was a babe in Christ but I did remember one thing that my grandmother used to say is “don’t be unequally yoked”. I left him with the house and everything that he had given me. You can’t put a price tag on “peace of mind”. I eventually ended up at a church in Philadelphia. If it were not for the prayers of my parents, the help from the church members and friends I can honestly tell I would either be in jail or dead right now. Now it has not been easy but it has been worth everything that I gave up, to have “peace of mind” and a better understanding of why living together before marriage is not God’s will. But most of all it has strengthened relationship with Jesus Christ.
My pastor has talked about domestic violence many times over the years and each time he presents the topic in a different way. As pastors they have a responsibility to provide guidance to the congregation so there is no way you can ignore the issue of domestic violence. There are specific scriptures that give us guidance on how to treat their spouses like Colossians 3:19 and Ephesians 5:29 to name a few. So you need to address the topic no matter how difficult it is. Now I am not a bible scholar by any means but one thing I know for certain, “submit does not equal hit”.
1) They themselves maybe or have been perpetrators of domestic violence (Yes I went there). There are pastors who are perpetrators and their deacons, elders and ministry leaders know it but they are afraid to call them on it. Often times the church leaders don’t want to appear to be attacking the pastor, cause disruption in the congregation, being shunned by other members, being removed from their ministry position, being asked to leave the church. Now you should make sure that there is abuse before approaching the pastor. Pray about if you have any doubts because once you make the accusation and it not true it will be difficult to restore the person’s reputation. If you witness it you need to address it with the leadership so both parties involved can be offered assistance. Be prepared to be osterized or removed from a position and/or asked to leave the church if the leadership is not ready to address the issue with the pastor.
2) They may have experienced seeing a parent abused and not have dealt with it. People who have witnessed abuse of a parent/family member may suppress the experience as a coping skill. Some may feel guilty because they wish they would have and /or could have stopped it. In order to receive healing and peace sometimes we have visit painful experiences. In Jesus there is freedom, healing and deliverance. Enough said!!
3) They are afraid of the reaction of congregation’s reaction. There are still some people who may feel that the church is not a place to address such (social issues). Now correct me if I am wrong didn’t the bible address social issues like rape, incest, adultery, homeless and hunger just to name a few. I guarantee you that at least one person in your congregation has either experienced or witnessed abuse. If the bible addressed such issues why shouldn’t we be able to discuss the same issues in the church? Make sure you are presenting it in a practical biblical way.
4) They are fearful of losing income (tithes and offering). Yes I went there again. I hope I don’t need to explain this. If I do please email me.
Okay I should have said at least five.
5) They really don’t have a clear understanding of the definition of domestic
violence and the forms it could take. I would suggest two wonderful websites; The Black Church and Domestic Violence Institute www.bcdi.org and the Faith Trust Institute www.faithtrustinstitute.org. Both organizations have a lot of resources to offer.
If your pastor does not want to address the issue and you feel God is leading you to do that ministry then I suggest you contact the organizations listed above and local organizations in your area. Volunteering with an organization that deals with domestic violence is a good place to start. You may even find someone who can assist you with designing a presentation for your church. Talk to women who have been victims (and we all know someone).
I want to share my personal testimony. I was in an abusive relationship for 15 years. Near the end of the relationship I started attending a church near my home. The pastor was young and I believe he meant well but did not have a clear understanding when he suggested that I marry my ex because know each other. Yes I was shacking up but that’s still does not give any justification for abuse. I was a babe in Christ but I did remember one thing that my grandmother used to say is “don’t be unequally yoked”. I left him with the house and everything that he had given me. You can’t put a price tag on “peace of mind”. I eventually ended up at a church in Philadelphia. If it were not for the prayers of my parents, the help from the church members and friends I can honestly tell I would either be in jail or dead right now. Now it has not been easy but it has been worth everything that I gave up, to have “peace of mind” and a better understanding of why living together before marriage is not God’s will. But most of all it has strengthened relationship with Jesus Christ.
My pastor has talked about domestic violence many times over the years and each time he presents the topic in a different way. As pastors they have a responsibility to provide guidance to the congregation so there is no way you can ignore the issue of domestic violence. There are specific scriptures that give us guidance on how to treat their spouses like Colossians 3:19 and Ephesians 5:29 to name a few. So you need to address the topic no matter how difficult it is. Now I am not a bible scholar by any means but one thing I know for certain, “submit does not equal hit”.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Harry Connick Jr. is on point!
I usually don't comment on videos people send me from YouTube but I have to on this one. This clip of an Australian style "Gong Show" is not funny to me at all. Listen to Harry's comments and let me know what you think. The audience wanted to give them a 10. I understand why they would many Australians don't get the fact that the have mistreated Aborigines (black folk).
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Stepping Out on Faith through Blogs
If you are like me you did not grow up using computers. So I have come into the world of the internet kicking and screaming. But Ahhhh! I am finally getting to a point where I want to learn more about computer technology and the internet. So it just so happens that I am stepping out on faith with my own business/ministry that will assist individuals, groups and/or organizations with information and resource sharing, accessing the media, conference/program planning and public relations.
I am blessed to have almost 30 years experience of working with people living with HIV. Because of this experience I have learned so much about homelessness, mental health, substance abuse, physical and sexual trauma and domestic abuse. So I feel I need to create a space where these issues can be addressed from a biblical perpective. I want to know what other people think about how these issues should be addressed. With that being said please let me know what you think about a recent incident that took place in Philadelphia regarding road rage/domestic abuse http://cbs3.com/local/roosevelt.boulevard.northeast.2.772202.html Thank you Dorothy http://www.dorothygoins.com/ for sending me the link.
Since this is new to me I am still learning about the world of blogging. I hope to share with you news and/or events that may be of interest to you. And yes my travel experiences. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Before I end this post I need to thank two people. Gary Adams, Co-founder of The Coalition, Inc., http://www.thecoalitioninc.org/ who arranged the class which I call "Blogging 101" and JC Lamkin, http://www.gltmypc.com/ for sharing her exitement and expertise about blogging.
May the Lord continue to richly bless you all until next time!
I am blessed to have almost 30 years experience of working with people living with HIV. Because of this experience I have learned so much about homelessness, mental health, substance abuse, physical and sexual trauma and domestic abuse. So I feel I need to create a space where these issues can be addressed from a biblical perpective. I want to know what other people think about how these issues should be addressed. With that being said please let me know what you think about a recent incident that took place in Philadelphia regarding road rage/domestic abuse http://cbs3.com/local/roosevelt.boulevard.northeast.2.772202.html Thank you Dorothy http://www.dorothygoins.com/ for sending me the link.
Since this is new to me I am still learning about the world of blogging. I hope to share with you news and/or events that may be of interest to you. And yes my travel experiences. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Before I end this post I need to thank two people. Gary Adams, Co-founder of The Coalition, Inc., http://www.thecoalitioninc.org/ who arranged the class which I call "Blogging 101" and JC Lamkin, http://www.gltmypc.com/ for sharing her exitement and expertise about blogging.
May the Lord continue to richly bless you all until next time!
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